The etiquette of a gay online hook-up – a list of Do’s and Don’ts.

DO – make sure that you protect yourself. Keep your personal details – address, workplace, etc. – to yourself. You can never be sure of someone you’ve just met – even if they do seem like the nicest person on earth. To take it a step further than you can always have a separate PAYG phone for safe communication without revealing your real number. NEVER invite someone you don’t know into your house.

DON’T – Take your gay online hook-up to your regular haunts. You don’t want to do a lot of explaining when you bump into a friend or neighbour or, even worse, your ex. Instead find somewhere where the two of you can relax without fretting.

DO – Be upfront about what you want. You’re likely to have chosen this person based on various specifications. If sex is all that you’re after then say so. There’s nothing worse than forming a casual relationship with someone only to discover that they’re expecting an engagement after the hook-up. Be straightforward and be clear.

DON’T – Suddenly change your preferences. Your hook-up partner is likely to have chosen you on the basis that you seemed a good match. By removing some of your online likes you are at risk of committing a serious faux pas and wasting each other’s time.

DO – Be sensitive if you realise that you don’t fancy the person. Nobody likes to be told that they’re not wanted after all and rejection can be done politely. So rather than saying “You’re not as good-looking as I’d hoped”, instead something kinder like “There’s no spark” is more than sufficient. Just imagine yourself in their shoes and how you’d like to be let down gently.

DON’T – ask deep and meaningful questions about their past. This is a straightforward hook-up and asking your partner to divulge memories of their childhood and how it shaped them as a person is a definite no-no.

DO – Always respect your hook-up partner and their wishes. Never insist on a certain type of sex – regardless of what their online profile states. Instead, simply excuse yourself and say a polite goodbye.

DON’T – Assume that all gay hook-ups are for sex. Some men just want the opportunity for a chat and a coffee with someone a likeminded guy. It’s best to have that conversation upfront in the first instance if you can. And if your gay hook-up partner is non-specific then always lower your expectations if it’s a night of crazy, wild passion that you’re looking for.

DO – Have details in your profile so that potential gay hook-ups can make an informed decision.

DON’T – Leave someone hanging.  Because it’s extremely rude. If you’ve arranged a hook-up but changed your mind, then always call or text to tell your hook-up partner. It takes a matter of seconds to tap out a quick message and stops that person from wasting their time.

DO – Be clean. You should ALWAYS shower, wash your hair, clean your teeth and wear fresh clothes. No-one wants to share a bed with someone who smells.

DON’T – Arrive for your date without having some idea about their rules and limitations.