BDSM Basics – Keeping Safe while Having Fun!

BDSM is so much fun, but it is wide and varied and everyone has different tolerances and expectations, so it is always good to put down some basic rules in pace to keep everyone safe and happy. When you post a gay personal for some kinky BDSM action on a gay personals website like www.gayscene.org you will get some great replied for guys who are as kinky as you are.

Before you get down and BDSM dirty with someone new it is always good to discuss safe words and danger words. This article is going to look at what these are, why they are important and what is the difference.

BDSM – Safe Words Vs Danger Words

They’re, like, the opposite, right? That is exactly so, and the beauty of this concept is that it is a simple, instant way to say no or to express what you want to start doing. Safe words have been around forever, and they are a must if you want to push boundaries with your partner and explore previously unknown fantasies or take things further than ever before. Safe words represent one of the core elements of sex – consent. This is why it’s vital to have your exit strategy planned if you need it; no one should carry on doing something that they’ve changed their minds about.

What does a safe word do?

In a nutshell – it is designed to take you, quite literally, to safety. If you are planning to change things up in the bedroom and perhaps try role play, bondage, experimenting with whips and chains, then you should have a conversation with your partner beforehand to decide on a word or phrase which means “Hey, I’m not comfortable with this now, you need to stop.” It is very important to discuss the concept fully with your partner so that you’re both guaranteed to be on the same page when it comes to your bedroom antics, and you can relax in the knowledge that you have all bases covered. You may even want to incorporate the words ‘No’ and ‘Stop’ into your bedroom play without meaning them.

The word you pick doesn’t need to be overly complex, but it does need to be a word which stands out enough to be instantly recognisable, but equally not part of everyday conversation. The place name of where you met or first had sex, or the name of your favourite restaurant are both along the lines that you should go down when deciding on your safe word.

What does a danger word do?

Imagine this: you’re sitting at work and thinking about the sexual fun you’d like to indulge in later. A particularly naughty scenario that you are both familiar with pops into your mind and you want to suggest this to your partner. Send them a text message! Perfect. But typing out instructions is hardly in the spirit of the game, and it is quite likely to knock your libido down a peg or two. But this doesn’t need to happen. Like with a safe word, discuss the concept of danger words with your partner so you both have a way of signalling what you would like to do without having to spell it out. If you would like to have a sure-fire way to kick start your naughty antics without a few minutes of discussion first, then choose a danger word which lets your partner know exactly what is on your mind and what you want to do about it.

Safe words and danger words – bring your imagination into the bedroom and give in to your basest desires.